How many times have you been instructed to "make space"? Sometimes it is "make space in your joints," sometimes it is "make space in your breath," and sometimes it is mental - "create space in you mind." To be honest, I have never understood or associated with these cues. I find them abstract at best, confusing and meaningless at worst.
But lately I have been finding space, particularly in my mind. Through regular Pranayama (Breath) practice, my mind is gradually becoming still. My thoughts become fuzzy and distant instead of the usual zippy urgency of the rest of my day. I have also been practicing Surrender to the Divine (Ishvarapranidhana), in which I release all of my accomplishments and failures. I consciously choose not to carry them around as defining elements of my self - I am not defined by my successes or failures. I am only who I am. (But what does that mean? I'll keep you posted!) When releasing my accomplishments and failures, I also release the pride and shame associated with them. So I find myself carrying around less pride and less shame than I have in the past. Where I used to be filled with urges and compulsions driven by my shame and pride, now I feel growing stillness and calm. There is a vacuum in my mind and emotions where there used to be driving forces. This, I have come to understand, is "space." I have made space. The most significant part of finding the space is resisting the habit and the urge to fill it. My mind is in the habit of having thoughts. Whenever I am at rest, a thought appears: think about tomorrow, hatch a new plan, analyze the day. Now that I find myself with "space" in my thoughts and desires, I don't know what to do with it. Do I fill it with new thoughts? Or do I let it be empty? Will it fill itself with something else? I have read that this is where God comes in - that we make the space and God fills it. It is a bit abstract for me, but certainly conceivable. At this point I am trying to be patient and sticking with my practice. I have faith that this "space" will reveal something new and important and, for now, that is enough.
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I have been deepening my study and practice of Pranayama, the often misunderstood and ignored practice of 'life-force extension'. Many practitioners simplify this to mean 'breathing exercises,' but Pranayama can't be reduced to breathing exercises any more than Asana (Postures) can be reduced to 'stretching.' Like all of yoga, intention, focus and dedication are vital to the practice of Pranayama.
In the Yoga Sutras, Patanjali describes Pranayama as the lengthening and smoothing of the inhale and exhale, but he is almost alone in that description. Most of the other ancient texts define Pranayama as primarily or entirely Kumbhaka, breath retention. To them, Pranayama is synonymous with holding the breath. It is within these periods of held breath that the life force of the body, the prana, is controlled, extended, slowed and eventually even halted altogether. This stillness, when even the most basic functions of the body are ceased, is where the consciousness reveals its true nature - the formless, the absolute. Pranayama is described by many of the texts as the most important element of a yogic practice. It is through this control that higher stages of self-integration are realized and that karmic demerit, the junk we carry with us from our current and previous lives, is removed. |
This journal honors my ongoing experience with the practice, study and teaching of yoga.
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