For the past year I have practiced mainly Tony's "Master's Core System," (MCS) a series of 40 postures that builds on Bikram's 26. The MCS includes more backbending, twisting, asymmetry, and a lot more restorative stretching positions than the 26. I also practice lots of other postures from the Complete Ghosh Series (84 postures) and other traditions. This miscellaneous practice helps me understand my body and improve it, and it helps me understand the focus and power of the body's energy.
Recently I find myself craving a more consistent practice of the advanced postures. I am not yet ready for the Complete Series. There is plenty in there that is far beyond my reach (for now). I need a practice that bridges the gap between MCS and the Complete Series, something that begins to incorporate the advanced movements and positions, preparing my body and mind for the pinnacle postures. It is easy enough to pick the postures that I want to work on. Most yogis I know who practice at home develop their own approach. I will pick the postures that are nearly accessible but still challenging. With practice I will improve. The significant thing that I am slowly realizing is that I need a consistent, repeated series of postures. Just like practicing the same 26 every day in Bikram's class, or Ashtangis who have set series that they don't deviate from. It will serve me better than choosing on a daily basis what I will tackle. So I need to develop a practicable series that will be useful to me for the next year or so. I am becoming more patient. The great postures like Scorpion and Full Wheel and Mountain will be there for me when I am ready. But instead of practicing them now, I must be patient and let my body and mind progress. I must have discipline and faith.
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Today I am up to 20 counts in Samavrtti Pranayama, the even-counted breath. I practiced at 19 counts for several days and was effortless yesterday, so today I changed to 20.
20 seconds in, 20 seconds out, for about 20 minutes. That will be my practice for the coming days or weeks, until I am effortless again. If you are interested in beginning a Pranayama practice, please consult a qualified teacher. Never hold your breath longer than is comfortable, it will be detrimental to your health instead of beneficial. "While today on the one hand we face the problem of meditators who do not adequately prepare the body for meditation, on the other hand we have Hatha yogis who get stuck in the meaningless drudgery of mere physical yoga. If the yogi does not go beyond the practice of posture and breath work, and does not graduate to and include formal meditation, then Hatha Yoga is not what it purports to be. It is then mere body-building, body-beautifying and gymnastics. There is nothing wrong with those, as long as the label clearly states we are doing only that. The problem with today's physical yoga is that it pretends to be more. And it is so only if it merges into the mental and spiritual disciplines of yoga."
From Yoga Meditation by Gregor Maehle. My own practice turns away from the strictly physical and toward the breath and mind. My physical practice is deepening and refining, turning toward cleansing kriyas and longer seated periods. This transition in my own focus is creating friction in my teaching.
How do I direct the students in exercises that I have moved past? How do I understand and inspire the students, guiding them clearly down the path that they need? How do I see their path when my path is so different? How do I relate to the students who are focused primarily on the physical benefits of asana practice? In elaborating these questions, it strikes me that my own progress need not make me a confounding teacher. Quite the contrary, it should make me a clearer one, as long as I keep focused on each student and their individual needs. My widening perspective and experience can make me a more effective and versatile guide. I have to remember that the purpose of the teacher is to serve the student, not to press my own views and practices upon anyone who will listen. Teaching is not a position of power but one of service. How many times have you been instructed to "make space"? Sometimes it is "make space in your joints," sometimes it is "make space in your breath," and sometimes it is mental - "create space in you mind." To be honest, I have never understood or associated with these cues. I find them abstract at best, confusing and meaningless at worst.
But lately I have been finding space, particularly in my mind. Through regular Pranayama (Breath) practice, my mind is gradually becoming still. My thoughts become fuzzy and distant instead of the usual zippy urgency of the rest of my day. I have also been practicing Surrender to the Divine (Ishvarapranidhana), in which I release all of my accomplishments and failures. I consciously choose not to carry them around as defining elements of my self - I am not defined by my successes or failures. I am only who I am. (But what does that mean? I'll keep you posted!) When releasing my accomplishments and failures, I also release the pride and shame associated with them. So I find myself carrying around less pride and less shame than I have in the past. Where I used to be filled with urges and compulsions driven by my shame and pride, now I feel growing stillness and calm. There is a vacuum in my mind and emotions where there used to be driving forces. This, I have come to understand, is "space." I have made space. The most significant part of finding the space is resisting the habit and the urge to fill it. My mind is in the habit of having thoughts. Whenever I am at rest, a thought appears: think about tomorrow, hatch a new plan, analyze the day. Now that I find myself with "space" in my thoughts and desires, I don't know what to do with it. Do I fill it with new thoughts? Or do I let it be empty? Will it fill itself with something else? I have read that this is where God comes in - that we make the space and God fills it. It is a bit abstract for me, but certainly conceivable. At this point I am trying to be patient and sticking with my practice. I have faith that this "space" will reveal something new and important and, for now, that is enough. "In good yoga in general, we are working asana in direct relationship to balancing and cleansing of the nadis, the proper practice of bhanda, mudra and pranayama. More and more practice reveals that these things are the purpose and primary focus of asana, and when done well lead directly into Raja yoga and deep contemplative practice."
From Richard Freeman's response to a question on yogaworkshop.com "There is no violent yogi. Nor is there one who utters falsehood. Bandit yogis are nonexistent. Philandering and yoga do not mix. Avarice also is not a yogic trait. Yogis have clean minds and bodies. Contentment is the hallmark of a yogi. Moderation is a yogic virtue. A yogi is a scholar as well. All that a yogi does, he does so with a sense of loving offering to God."
From Yoga Beneath the Surface by Srivatsa Ramaswami and David Hurwitz. Yesterday, Ida and I competed in USA Yoga's Midwest Regional Asana Championship. It was a long road to get to the competition, both mentally and physically. I wrote about it a little bit back in November and also last year when we were considering competition but decided against it.
Last week, in the days preceding the competition, both Ida and I had significant cases of nerves. Always feeling tired and ornery, strange appetites and falling a lot while practicing our postures. It was frustrating and terrifying; I fell out of Standing Head to Knee more times than I care to admit. As competition day approached, we prepared ourselves for the worst. We would be happy if we survived our routines without toppling over. Come competition day, we were confronted with the new challenge of warming up our bodies and staying warm without overdoing it and compromising strength, especially being worried about balance as we were. Luckily we were both near the top of the competing order, so we didn't have too long to wait. There were competitors from a handful of midwestern states, and everyone was proudly wearing shirts from their home city and yoga studio. In the Bikram world it sometimes seems like everyone knows everyone else. Standing "on deck" waiting as the next competitor up was among the most stressful moments of my life. My heart was racing, my breath short, my mind going crazy. I tried to stand perfectly still and take deep, slow breaths. It helped a little, but only a little. Perhaps the adrenaline helped us focus, because I didn't fall and neither did Ida. We both did our postures about as well as we could have expected to. I was a little wobbly in Fingerstand, and Ida was a bit wobbly in Lifting Lotus, but all in all we made it through unscathed. At the end of the day we were both Wisconsin champs and, more importantly, we were invited to the national competition. Exciting and terrifying! So last night after all the day's events we discussed how to improve our postures and routines and even practiced a little bit. I will post photos and video in a day or two once I have it all together. My interest has been renewed in studying the ancient texts of yoga. In addition to the Yoga Sutras there are texts like the Hatha Yoga Pradipika, the Jogapradipika, the Bhagavad Gita, expositions by various masters like Vashista, Matsyendra and Gheranda. Plus thousands or tens of thousands of other shastras written anonymously.
I ask myself, "do I know more than these yogis?" If I disagree with something they have written, do I have the authority to disregard it and do my own thing? Why would I take their advice in some aspects but not in others? Like many other modern yogis, I have instincts and opinions about what is "right" in yoga and what is "best." Not to mention the powerful pull of capitalism that seems destined to drag yoga into the world of physical fitness. Who am I to say what yoga is or is not? Especially when there is documentation from yogis far greater than me. At this point, I feel the need to be humble. Practice, be focused and studious. Read what these yogis wrote that has lasted thousands of years. Develop my own relationship with this powerful force we call yoga. I have been deepening my study and practice of Pranayama, the often misunderstood and ignored practice of 'life-force extension'. Many practitioners simplify this to mean 'breathing exercises,' but Pranayama can't be reduced to breathing exercises any more than Asana (Postures) can be reduced to 'stretching.' Like all of yoga, intention, focus and dedication are vital to the practice of Pranayama.
In the Yoga Sutras, Patanjali describes Pranayama as the lengthening and smoothing of the inhale and exhale, but he is almost alone in that description. Most of the other ancient texts define Pranayama as primarily or entirely Kumbhaka, breath retention. To them, Pranayama is synonymous with holding the breath. It is within these periods of held breath that the life force of the body, the prana, is controlled, extended, slowed and eventually even halted altogether. This stillness, when even the most basic functions of the body are ceased, is where the consciousness reveals its true nature - the formless, the absolute. Pranayama is described by many of the texts as the most important element of a yogic practice. It is through this control that higher stages of self-integration are realized and that karmic demerit, the junk we carry with us from our current and previous lives, is removed. |
This journal honors my ongoing experience with the practice, study and teaching of yoga.
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